Like a character from Poe’s The Tell-Tale Heart, Melissa had always heard haunting inner sounds. It was unsettling to feel different from others, particularly at a young age. For her, she knew since she was three years old.
She knew that she didn’t care much for dolls or dress-up. And that didn’t make her feel less like a girl, it just wasn’t stimulating for her. Instead, what she needed was open spaces and strong winds blowing across her face. Trees and open fields to climb on and run through. She could never seem to get enough air. A fascination for bugs and small furry animals confirmed her difference from the girls who were brave enough to befriend her. And as the years wore on, the gaps become more and more apparent.
By high school, Melissa stopped feeling unsettled and no longer questioned herself, her likes and dislikes or her interests. Although comfortable with being herself, she began to realize that many people found her ambitions odd. But while she walked far outside the norm she always felt normal within herself.
She was drawn to adventure that often led to trouble, and by senior year it was apparent to everyone that Melissa was a bad influence on her growing number of followers. Something simply needed to be done.
Melissa shrugged off the repeated references to her wild side and lack of responsibility. It simply didn’t add up to her. She merely felt attracted to different and, in her view, more exciting things. But all the adults agreed, there was something not right about this girl and intervention was the only course of action. Her parents and school officials all wanted Melissa to conform and lead a regular life. They decided that with the help of counseling, Melissa would hopefully come back from the edge and turn her life in the right direction.
Melissa had always known this day would come. The day she would have to be fixed. She’d known it from the beginning. Many nights she lay in her bed daydreaming about an adventurous life, but stifling the thoughts because she knew…. she just knew.
So she agreed to counseling. As the day approached she decided that she would simply be herself and see what happened. In an odd way, she saw this as another adventure.
The large oak door leading into Dr. Patricia Harrison’s office was a symbolic cross roads. Conformity or resistance. Or perhaps neither.
“Good morning, Melissa, make yourself comfortable,” Patricia cheerfully said, although there was scarcely room to sit amongst her cluttered collections of files, statues, memorabilia and unwashed coffee cups. Melissa felt immediately at ease.
“They tell me you’re on a one-way street to bad news-ville. What do you think?” Pat asked with a chuckle.
Melissa’s face sprung instantly into a broad smile. She said, “I don’t think so.”
For the next 90 minutes Melissa poured out frustrations, feelings of confinement and admissions of being drawn to different things. All to Pat’s encouragement. As the time was ticking to the end of the session a silence fell. Staring into each others eyes, both realized that the next words would define the young woman and her path in life.
“Well, Melissa, we’ve got a lot of work to do,” Pat said, but light heartedly.
“Oh my God…. You think…” Melissa muttered, until she recognized the lightness in Patricia’s voice.
“I think you’re fine Melissa, just fine,” the doctor continued. “And there are no buts, either. We just need to find you bigger outlets of expression, places where rather than stifle you, we can encourage you and build on your strengths. But first, I want you to work with me on some personality tests and a few other things so we can get a better base line…you OK with that?”
“Yeah… I’m OK with that,” Melissa said. “I’m really OK with that.”
In the weeks that followed both Melissa and Patricia began to look forward to the regular get-togethers. The variety of tests revealed what Pat had suspected from the outset. That Melissa had a higher than average IQ. In fact, she had a WAY higher than average IQ, as well as several other rare attributes. As each session ended Melissa felt more and more comfortable with herself. Although those that had sent her to Patricia were skeptical that after this length of time Melissa wasn’t showing an interest in regular teen things, they held out hope she would be turned around. And turned around she was.
After a session that ended earlier than usual, Patricia said to Melissa, “I’d like to go on a field trip with you this Saturday.”
“Sure, where to?” was Melissa’s instant response.
“It’s a surprise, but we’ll meet here and then head off. Bring a warm jacket.”
For three days Melissa could think of little else than her planned weekend encounter. She racked her brain trying to figure out what it was and was exhilarated by having something unknown to look forward to. It was so her.
Saturday was cloudless and warm but as instructed, Melissa brought her warm fall jacket. Pat and Melissa drove while Melissa tried to get Pat to reveal the nature of their adventure. Forty minutes later they arrived at a coffee shop and walked inside. Melissa immediately noticed the purposeful way Pat walked toward the only occupied booth.
“Melissa, I’d like you to meet my brother, Colonel James Harrison, United States Air Force.”
Being speechless was not Melissa’s usual way and the awkwardness of not being able to squeeze any words from her mouth was an unusual feeling for her. Mercifully James interrupted the silence.
“Pat tells me you’d probably have fun in a fighter jet,” he casually stated.
Again the shock of the moment prevented an articulate answer.
“Your eyes say yes,” James said, laughing. “Let’s go!”
As if transported telepathically to the flight line, Melissa found herself pre-briefed, suited and sitting behind James as the F16 taxied down the runway. Pat watched safely from the hangar as the aircraft launched from the runway, nearly vertically, and headed for the clouds.
For Melissa, it was 45 minutes of sheer ecstasy. And not a second of it was in fear or nausea.
That was 12 years ago. Today, seeing her parents beam at Melissa’s 10 year school reunion when she was introduced as the keynote speaker, made her savor the sweetness of the moment all the more.
As she strode toward the podium, she heard the announcer say, “And now ladies and gentlemen, it is with great honor that I present to you the first female lead pilot of the renowned Thunderbirds Precision Aerobatic Team, Captain Melissa Bowridge, United States Air Force.”
But she heard something else besides the words – that inner sound that was no longer haunting. She now recognized the sound for what it truly was and realized that the old adage was true. Some of us simply march to the beat of a different drummer.